tonight has become a listen to Manchester Orchestra and zone until sleep finally decides to consume me kind of night.
i dont know if that is a good or a bad thing.

ummmmmm can we talk about the fact that the sun just came out?

oh life

Sunshine, sunshine, it's fine
I feel it in my skin, warming up my mind,
Sometimes you gotta give in to win,
I love the days when it shines, whoa let it shine

i absolutely adore this weather! it is so beautiful outside!
yesterday i went to the beach with Bobby and spent some tranquility time watching the waves. amazing i tell you.
spring break is the shit. too bad i have to work every night. oh well, gotta make that money grow! thanks failing  (failed?) economy and wonderful capitalist government.
the plan for this week? hang out as much as possible, get as much sun as possible, and win NIN tickets from FM1021 G-Dit!!!! Bobby and I have been trying all week and i offically hate the sound of a busy signal. meh.

but yea if anyone else is in town this week and wants to kick it, holla at yo girl. i will either be at home or at the beach.

10:45+ 102 min (1 hr & 42 min) = 12:32 is the next time to win. WE CAN DO IT!

I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
"I’m really not as stubborn as I seem,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to
Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

i feel like crying

damn its good to remember the comfort of friends

And soon everybody will ask what became of you
'Cause your heart was dying fast, and you didn't know what to do

Everyone’s got stories gone
About a love we once knew
So high in the beginning
Until the world cuts through
And then everything changes
Nothing feels the same
Piece by piece it falls apart until
All that’s left is blame

so this is for anyone who still reads this and care about me.

i have dropped out of UMN to return home to Milwaukee.

to those that helped me, thank you.

to those that i wanted to see and didnt im sorry

see you when i see you, ill be posted in the illy milly once again.

oh what a crazy life i live.
actually things are settling in quite nicely.
classes are good
apartment is great
i just got a job at qudoba
now if i could figure out how to quell this loneliness i should be all set.

its official
i love minneapolis
yay!

today was way too much of an emotional rollercoaster for my liking.
but
my new apartment is pretty bangin
and classes start tomorrow
and i get to see lucy

i think i am going to be okay...

You love the people that love you.
You hear the music they move to.
You give your ode to the fall through.
But you don't know you don't know you don't know you don't know you...

its funny how time changes things. funny how "friends" change into people that you dont know anymore. actually its not funny at all. it sucks and it fucking hurts. but im done with the bullshit from here on out. fuck the lies and fuck the drama. fuck being around people that dont give a shit anymore. as of tomorrow i will be officaially living in Minneapolis, MN and i am fucking ready for a change.

the trip up here was a little intense. 6 hours in the car with my dad = frequent mental breaks.

honestly? i am freaking out. i am scared and alone in a huge new city and that sucks. but i am going to make it through all of the doubts and freak-outs. i have to. there is no turning back this time.

so to milwaukee: it was rad but now its time for me to throw up the duces and peace out.

MN here i come.

Let Go

Braille

Letting go, of something that you hold close
why you let it stay around, you just don't know, say
Let it Go
Let it Go
Letting go, of something that you hold close
tried to make it work out, but it won't, say
Let it Go
Let it Go

I gotta let this go, once and for all, I'm one voice
speaking in-between the pauses, waiting for my time
is it right now or has it passed me by, I magnify
the situation through my glass eye and analyze it
what's real and what's fake? It's blown out of proportion
all the voices in my head sound distorted (do the right thing)

out of surgury, doing fine. come visit me tomorrow!

Send your loving my way at 11:00am tomorrow. that is when i will be going into knee surgury. fuck i hope this goes well.

to try nnd explain the connection that we have would be impossible.
lets keep it that way.

:-)

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.